I also write totally cool and uplifting self affirmations. Like “Hey porkster, you don’t need that extra cupcake, fatass.” They work surprisingly well, I might add. Disclaimer: I wrote this last night but fell asleep before I remembered to hit “Publish.” I do NOT drink fizzy gin cocktails in the morning, unless it’s before a
Disclaimer: This took me a few days to write because of our “busy schedule” (read: because of alcohol) and so the tenses are fucked up and I don’t really have the energy to make it all right. I’m sorry ahead of time if I seem confusing but hell, you should be used to it by now.
Or whatever the hell “Part One” is en español. Stupid Google translate. Anyhow… Random Vacation Shit: Earlier today, I am getting ready to go get a pedicure and the non-BF and I are talking about shaving. I’m not happy about skipping a day. I tell the non-BF that you aren’t supposed to shave before a pedicure. The non-BF: Why
I started this last night, but fell asleep under a bunch of dogs and so now I have to change words and tenses and shit or else you will really think I’ve lost my mind. Honestly, if you haven’t already thought so, you’re way behind. Catch the hell up! Combining today’s yesterday’s Totally Random Tuesday
On the way to my family reunion Saturday, I saw a guy wearing a cowboy hat ride a horse over an overpass on I-20, followed by two BMWs and a Mercedes. Only in Dallas. At the family reunion, I was talking to two of my cousins. They’re kinda country, which is fine, but I don’t often