Instead of a sappy, obligatory Thanksgiving post, I give you this: Really Stupid Shit I’m Thankful For. YOU can thank ME later. Thanks for reading!
(I am now no longer allowed to use the word “thanks” except for in the next sentence.)
I AM THANKFUL FOR:
- Benadryl, because of my allergies – I am so tired of sneezing out what is left of my brains!
- Working from home, because sweat pants and stained t-shirts are so “in” this season.
- Friends who forgive me for having OCD behaviors towards shopping, and shoes.
- Friends who offer to take excess clothes off my hands (don’t even think about it, bitches!)
- Pie. Not because I like it, but because all of you do.
- Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, white wine spritzers and gin. And diet tonic water. Hell, just any alcoholic beverage there is. It’s the only thing that gets me through the holidays.
- Air conditioning. Damn, it’s mid-November and we still need the A/C? Fuck living in Texas!
- Cheese. And goats. And goat cheese.
- My DVR. I’m too lazy to watch shows when they actually run on TV.
- My mom’s cornbread dressing. I will never, ever be able to replicate it. May my mother live forever!
In all seriousness, happy Thanksgiving all! I am blessed to have a roof over my head, food for my furbrats and a job. Happy happy Thanksgiving to you all! God bless!
You would NOT need a/c if you lived in Seattle. Heaterheaterheater.
We’ve been expecting freezing temperatures and after a long day of work and grocery shopping I come home and slide my ass on ice right outside. Sucked.
I miss the sunshine.
Yeah, but if I lived in Seattle, I would need a LOT more anti-depressants. I really hate rain. I’m going next year, by the way. Will you come talk me down from the ledge for the seven days I am there?
Would love to!
We could just drown in depressants (vodka being my favorite) and fuck it all. I think walking down town or seeing a movie with alcohol is the best.
You’re coming in the summertime, right?
I’d recommend summer. Truthfully – there is a few good weeks with about 75 degree weather and sunshine.
Anytime before or after that… no good.
E-mail me. We’ll find ya a good enough ledge.
I will do that!
Came across your blog and I love it! And the 75 degrees in Texas in the middle of November isn’t working for me either. I am so ready for winter even tho that never happens here till February. But whatever.
Damn, me too! I have a closet full of sweaters that I am dying to wear!
I want to thank you for making me laugh when I’m at work and I’d rather be screaming at someone or silently crying because I hate my fucking job/life/existence some days.
I hope you have a great Thanksgiving. Drink just enough to forget the shit that makes you mad but not too much that you can’t remember the things that you’ll smile about years from now.
Now, back to cooking and cleaning for my ungrateful family that is about to converge on my house tomorrow. I totally should have married and had kids so I could have avoided all of this shit.
Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, and thanks, hon! Glad I could be some help!
As for the ingrates, tell them “I decided to be thankful for take-out this year, and here, have some pizza…I’m going to go soak in the tub with a cocktail!”