Instead of a sappy, obligatory Thanksgiving post, I give you this: Really Stupid Shit I’m Thankful For. YOU can thank ME later. Thanks for reading!
(I am now no longer allowed to use the word “thanks” except for in the next sentence.)
I AM THANKFUL FOR:
- Benadryl, because of my allergies – I am so tired of sneezing out what is left of my brains!
- Working from home, because sweat pants and stained t-shirts are so “in” this season.
- Friends who forgive me for having OCD behaviors towards shopping, and shoes.
- Friends who offer to take excess clothes off my hands (don’t even think about it, bitches!)
- Pie. Not because I like it, but because all of you do.
- Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, white wine spritzers and gin. And diet tonic water. Hell, just any alcoholic beverage there is. It’s the only thing that gets me through the holidays.
- Air conditioning. Damn, it’s mid-November and we still need the A/C? Fuck living in Texas!
- Cheese. And goats. And goat cheese.
- My DVR. I’m too lazy to watch shows when they actually run on TV.
- My mom’s cornbread dressing. I will never, ever be able to replicate it. May my mother live forever!
In all seriousness, happy Thanksgiving all! I am blessed to have a roof over my head, food for my furbrats and a job. Happy happy Thanksgiving to you all! God bless!