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Leavin’ On A Jet Plane

Sitting in this overpriced airport restaurant, I notice the woman across the way from me has Meg Ryan’s hair from “French Kiss.” Only not in an adorable way. Come to think of it, Meg Ryan’s hair wasn’t that adorable, either. Stupid movie, too. “Lactose INTOLERANT!!!” My terrier mix could have written better dialogue. ***** Meg

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Told Ya So

Well, looks like it is going to be a long night. Dinner? Not sitting so well on the belly. I’m having Tums for dessert but I don’t think even that will help. Did you know that Tums turn foamy in your stomach? No? Well now you do. You’re welcome for that bit of knowledge. The

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Note To Self: There Is This Fabulous Thing Called Weather.com. You Should Use It More Often.

I AM FREEZING MY ASS OFF. What little of it there is. I swear, if I could move my gut to my butt, I’d be a happy, happy girl! And I left without packing a cardi this morning I also look slightly crazy in 50 degree weather, wearing a cap sleeve cotton dress and sandals.

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Totally Random Tuesday

I’m gonna stretch beyond the lazy ass boundaries that I have set lately and do a Totally Random Tuesday: I don’t get these immature motherfuckers on Facebook, all fighting and shit. I’ve seen so many of them in the past few weeks. Just wondering why they have so much time on their hands to pick

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“But Wait, There’s MORE!”

What’s on at four a.m.? FUCKING INFOMERCIALS. I guess the TV gods know we need to be put to sleep if we’re up that late. I’ve already ordered: a ShamWow, some Ginsu Knives, a Shark Sonic Duo, a few Bumpits, some Wen for my Bumpit Fabulous Hair, two Hawaii Chairs (because one is just not

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