Okay, so earlier this evening, I’m pouring myself a fizzy gin drink because hell, the day was just too long and I need to work on the house but I’m domestically challenged and all that shit.  So I sit down to watch a very depressing movie because when I’m happy, I try not to let that linger so much just to give my psyche a little run for its money.

I’m all clicking away at the DVR and then I notice that Wormy Kitty is doing some sort of Scoot Butt shit and sticking her ass way up in the air.

I grab her, fondle and squeeze her midsection to make certain she doesn’t have an obstruction, and then I start to freak the hell out.  This cat is insane.  She’s rubbing up against me, the furniture and a couple of neutered dogs.  Not to mention a totally spayed and menopausal alpha bitch.  That would be Blindie, not me.  Fuck off if you thought I was talking about myself.

Called the non-BF, no answer.  Fuck.  Called Bunny, who has kittehs, and I left a frantic voice mail for her.  Texted them both.  Called Cherry (who was doing some kind of charity run, so I didn’t want to interrupt that).  Sat down, stood up, did both of those again about 10 times, then called Bunny again. AFTER sending videos of Wormy Kitty doing her Butt Up In The Air Dance.  To her and to the non-BF.

Bunny:  She’s in heat.

Me:  What the FUCK?  She’s getting “fixed” on Monday!  Can’t she wait?

Bunny:  Is she howling yet?

Me:  Hell YES, she is howling.  I thought she ate something huge and was trying to pass it.  WTH is up with the haunching shit and sticking her ass up in the air?  Puppies don’t do that shit.

Bunny:  You don’t know cats yet, do you?

Me: Funny, that is what the non-BF keeps asking me.

Bunny:  I don’t know what to tell you.  Keep her locked up until Monday.

So okay, pray for me, or rub the Buddha’s belly or something.  I’m in for a long, long night.