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Four In The Morning, Came Without A Warning…
Now if I could just remember the lyrics to “Sister Christian.”
I can’t sleep. Well, that’s not exactly true. I fell asleep early and now I am awake at 2 a.m. Texted the non-BF to see if he was up: he either (a) is not awake, or (b) doesn’t want to talk about baby goats.
Got on Facebook and liked a bunch of status updates. Some of them because they were funny; mostly because I like it when someone likes my status update. With “like” being such a positive word, I wonder why so much drama goes on in Facebook?
Didn’t get on Live Cams. All the crazy shit goes down in the middle of the day for me because most of the ones I watch are in Europe. I still don’t know why that guy was working topless.
Speaking of hot, the motherfuckers at the Air Watcher Agency (or whatever they call those people who decide it’s an “orange air day”) are smoking crack. Today wasn’t an Orange Air Day. It was a Black Lung Day. I could barely breathe when I took the dogs outside.
I go on vacation soon. I need it in a very bad way. Note to those who look for houses to break into, I have an alarm system, a dog-sitter who is armed and an anti-kick door thingie. Plus, God looks out for drunks, fools and babies, and I meet two of those requirements. Three, if you count the fact that I am quite immature.
Vacation…I’ve worked during every vacation for the last five and a half years. Laptop there, answering emails, not really enjoying – fully enjoying – the time off. So in essence, it wasn’t actually “time off.”
My company owes me about 17 weeks of paid time off, they way I see it. I’ll settle for being “unreachable” during this one. I’m still taking a laptop, just my own. And I will have my iPad, but I still cannot figure out WordPress on that damned thing. I’ll be connected but I am hoping to be too busy to even give a fuck about checking in.
Thank God I am not staying at a clown hotel like I did last year in Europe. I didn’t sleep the entire time I was there. Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right – here I am, stuck in the middle with bags under my eyes.
Oh, It’s ON!
For about six or seven months now, some bitch in my office building has been taking the roll of toilet paper off the rack and reversing the direction the paper falls. Basically, they are putting it on the rack backwards, which makes pulling the sheets off a bit harder. And, for about six or seven months now, I have been taking the roll of toilet paper off the rack and putting it back on the CORRECT way.
After the first month of this, I finally had to ask the Office Mate if she was doing this.
“Hell no! And I have been changing it back to the right way myself!” I learned that she switches it to the right way when she visits other people’s houses, which is also something I do. The Office Mate thought it would be a grand idea to go make the toilet paper look like they do in hotels.
When this first started – this bullshit about changing the direction of the toilet paper – it happened maybe three or four times a week. The past few weeks, it has been daily. This week – two or three times a day. Today, I finally had enough. But we get out early on Fridays in the summer, so I just said Fuck it and went home.
Monday morning, I am taping up this sign in the women’s bathroom:
Bring it on, honey.
