I suck. Sorry for the absence but shit in my world has been upside down and backwards lately. New Year’s Resolution: Stop being such a slacker and post more often. Oh yeah, and stop saying “fuck” so much. The former will be easier than the latter.
Shit That Pissed Me Off In 2012 (A Lot Of It Happened Tonight, By The Way):
- Mr. Swirly died. That shit fucking sucked.
- Wormy Kitty gave me ringworm. She got rid of hers faster than I did mine.
- I had a car wreck.
- I gained 15 pounds from being sedentary after car wreck. Well, and from booze.
- People who think they are funny, but are not in the slightest sense of the word. Except for maybe in appearance. As Marie said in “When Harry Met Sally,”Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but they couldn’t possibly all have good taste.” Or a sense of humor, Marie.
- Star Wars, Episode 6. And Ewoks in general. Why am I watching this tonight?
- Getting busted for using the non-BF’s cake-flavored vodka in my hot tea. (I had a stomach ache, mkay?)
- Getting yelled at for setting off NYE poppers because I quote “scared the dogs!” Was trying to scare Wormy Kitty so she would stop eating the roses on my dining room table. Little bitch.
- Hot weather in the winter.
- Cold weather in the spring.
- Running out of gin on a Sunday and Texas Blue Laws.
- Mean, hateful, snooty people who think they are better than me. Don’t they know that I’m the Most Fabulous?
- Seriously, mean, hateful, snooty people who think they are better than everyone else. I love it when karma makes them trip and fall down in front of a bunch of people, or shit their pants.
- Debbie Downers. When I hear that shit, I just want to say “Wah wahhhhh…”
- These guys.
Happy New Year, y’all! Don’t drink and drive…do like I do – stay in and get smashed. Clink!
P.S. I never knew that Robert Burns wrote Auld Lang Syne. Figures. “If it ain’t Scottish, it’s crap!”