I have been moving my office office to my home office and I haven’t really had time to shit, let alone blog, or read any of the other blogs. I hope to catch up this week.
Soooo…the non-BF and Bunny and I went for a late lunch yesterday to a really cool tavern in the OC. We got there a little late for brunch and too early for dinner. I decided on the country breakfast (which pushed me up about three months for an early heart attack) and then those two had some kind of spare rib shit that I had to keep eating off the non-BF’s plate.
We ate. We drank. I posed in some goofy photos with some hipster doofus with really good hair (I love dudes with good hair, one selling point about the non-BF), and then I think I (unfortunately) did some kind of drunken gin & tonic dance in the moonlight and then we went home and I slept on the floor and now I think my allergies are fucked up.
Anyway, I took notes last night. This is the shit we said/thought/did. It’s all I have since I am blown away by having to move crap on the weekend. And because I’m lazy as fuck on Sundays. So there you go. Please forgive me ahead of time, because none of this shit should make sense to any “normal” sober asshole on a “normal” day.
- I’ve never had a good experience with organs.
- Milk, ice cream, Special K (oh fuck it, that is my shopping list!)
- He’s my Heteroflexible Boyfriend!
- Mangina – He is a man with a giant PMS-ing vagina. He is a douche bag.
- Bunny: Panocha de vaca – it means “cow cunt.” Me: How did I ever live without knowing that?
- Oh yeah, he is in the Do It Pool.
- Me: Is he still married to Pudding? Bunny: Dumpling? Me: No. PUDDING. Bunny: Yep. They have a child now. Me: Eww. Like a Mini Pudding? The non-BF: No, it’s Honey Dumpling! I spit my fucking drink through my mouth AND my nose.
- Me: White Shoulders? Remember that? Bunny: Yeah. Me: Do they still make that shit? Bunny: Yeah, they make a whole lot of Old Woman Pussy Shit still. Get over it.
- Bunny: My mind is starting to wander to dog tongues.
- Best thing I’ve heard lately - “He is all up in my chili!”
I am spending my Sunday evening watching “He’s Just Not That Into You” and filing my nails. And learning about Skinny Girl cocktails. Why the FUCK didn’t they tell me about this shit earlier? There’s low-cal vodka? Fuck me running – sign me up!
By the way: “That’s a lot of prepositions.” in “He’s Just Not That Into You” script was awesome. PS: All you assholes who want to find a quick fix for Ambien, Xanax and an entire assortments of drugs? I don’t know how the hell my site got that shit but I don’t have drugs here. And I don’t have a connection to a Canadian pharmacy. Big kiss!!
P.S. The Narciso Rodriguez for Kohl’s models look like cardboard cutout dolls. They kind of scare me.