Or, as I like to call it, Sunday Crunch.
So the non-BF, Bunny and I all meet up for brunch today. No fizzy gin drinks for me this time – still said some stupid ass shit, though. A few of the nuggets:
*****
Me: I like that song, who is it?
Bunny: I think it’s Dido.
Me: Let me Shazam it.
I come back to the table. “Shazam is smoking crack. It told me it was 2Pac.”
Strange look from the non-BF and Bunny. “What? I’m not making that shit up. Look, it says 2 Pac!”
They started laughing.
Bunny: It’s pronounced “two-pock,” not “two-pack.”
Me: Hell, I’m so white it’s frightening.
*****
We were discussing SAD and Bunny said she totally got it in the summer, from all the sun.
Me: My mom has that but in the winter time. I remember when I was a kid and it was all wintery gloomy like outside, and my mom would stand and look at the window and cry.
The non-BF: Well, think of the kids she had. It could be a sunny day and she would still be depressed!
*****
Bunny: After brunch, let’s go get some more pies.
Me: MORE pies? We had pies last time? Hell, I must have been drunk off my ass, I don’t do pie.
Bunny: We had like five slices each.
Me: Well no fucking wonder my pants weren’t fitting me this week.
*****
Bunny: I was losing weight but then last week happened.
*****
I whack my knee on the table while sitting down. I’m all ow-ow-OW’ing and Bunny asks me if I am okay.
Me: No. It is one of those kind of hurts that takes your breath away. You know, one of those hurts that make you want to throw up.
Bunny: Don’t throw up now. Save that shit for later.
*****
Me: I cannot believe I forgot the pies last weekend. It must have been all the fizzy gin drinks.
The non-BF: I think it’s your crazy pills that make you forget shit.
Bunny: I wish mine would!
*****
Bunny and the non-BF were talking about their visits to Amsterdam years ago:
Bunny: I was sleeping in the same bunk as the Deaf Lesbian From New York.
The non-BF: When I asked for a more private bathroom, the front desk guy told me, “If you don’t like our country, then just leave.”
*****
Me: I was going to get a part-time job at James Avery for Christmas. You know, for the discount.
Bunny: I don’t trust James Avery. I don’t trust those Christians.
Me, laughing: But you’re a Christian.
Bunny: I know, that’s the fun part!
So funny…I wish I’d been up for more pie!
“Don’t throw up now. Save that shit for later.”
Hahahaa, favorite. But… throw up any time just plain SUCKS! Specially when drunk. Although… I don’t remember throwing up last time I was drunk, I knew I did it – but I don’t remember doing it.
So I don’t think it counts.
I did throw up during the cinnamon challenge and lost my voice. Talk about being a sore loser. My throat hurt so fucking much.
Your blog continues to make me laugh.
Thanks! I need to know more about your cinnamon challenge – did you end up on You Tube?
How in the hell do you not know who Tupac is? White people or not. Damn girl. Now I know I have to get you out of Texas. LOL
Ha! I know who he is (I’m not that sheltered) – I just didn’t know how to pronounce his name!
I would go to brunch with you just for the laughs. Tks again for unspamming me and the shout-out. Yours in bloggery…W.