I’m gonna stretch beyond the lazy ass boundaries that I have set lately and do a Totally Random Tuesday:
- I don’t get these immature motherfuckers on Facebook, all fighting and shit. I’ve seen so many of them in the past few weeks. Just wondering why they have so much time on their hands to pick on other people? And if that shit is put on you first? IGNORE THEM. Grow up, people. Grow the fuck up.
- That airline 24-hour web check in thing? I NEVER remember in time. Which is why I get stuck with seats at the back of the plane, and miss out on upgrading to first class. I need to set a fucking alarm.
- Oh my God – Guy Fieri, King of the Douche Bags – is yelling in my ear right now. NO, he is not in my house – well, not literally – but I tend to have Food Network or Cooking Channel on as background noise when I try to go to sleep at night. Shave that goddamned beard, please. Ugh.
- I would outlaw beards if I could. They are nasty beyond nasty.
- I should smack in the face anyone who tells me, “Oh! You’re so lucky to travel!” for work. Because why? Traveling for work is NOT glamorous. You are typically running to get to one place from the other. You don’t eat healthy foods. Sometimes you strain muscles in airports while trying your best to get to a connecting flight. Next time someone says that to me, I am going to force them to get up at four a.m., get ready (while they’re still asleep), go to the airport and eat a fake egg and cheese croissant that will later give them indigestion. Then I’ll burp egg breath in their faces. While talking incessantly because I see they are trying to work/study/rest/sleep. Because I can.
- Do y’all think I seem a bit cranky these days?
- Please, please, please, please, PLEASE God, don’t let me get seated next to a Stinky Person tomorrow!
- Wow, I think I got my Bitchy back in double doses. Awesome!