- Best thing anyone ever told me was “You’re not like anybody.” Unfortunately, I think they stole that line from a movie.
- Even so, they were very right.
- Last night, I was playing with my hair and I bunched it up about four inches high from the crown up. I’m thinking that if I got some mousse, Aqua Net and a bit of Superglue, I might be onto something here.
- If I am bald next week, I’m blaming it on PTSD. I have no idea what traumatic stress I’ve been under, except for the eminent possibility of losing my hair. Or having a lot of it stuck to my hands.
- Have you got an iPhone 5 yet? No? Don’t bother. Most of the people I talk to on it tell me they cannot hear me unless I have it on speakerphone. Yeah, it’s a longer screen, yeah, there are new things (like the Maps that don’t freaking work for other people - they seem to work for me), yeah yeah yeah. Steve is probably rolling over in his grave. It’s a goddamned PHONE. I should at least be able to speak to people and have them hear me.
- I don’t know what I’ve been eating the past few months, but my fingernails are like strong little daggers. Well, not really, they aren’t pointy and shit, but they are hard as rocks. Maybe I should file them where they have a tip and then I’m armed. Walking around with pointy little knives on the tips of my fingers, ready for action! On second thought, nope. Probably not a good idea. Especially not while I am in traffic. Although I doubt I could reach the other drivers around me with them.
- I watched “Something’s Gotta Give.” Cute little movie – could have done without Diane Keaton fake-crying for three minutes, though. Bitch, NOBODY cries like that. I expected more from you.
- I DO like the part where Jack starts to type “I miss you” and changes it because she isn’t available. Fucking men. They pretty much suck.
- Monday morning, awake again at 2 a.m. I started watching Dennis Farina host “Unsolved Mysteries.” It ain’t pretty. At least I’m not contemplating buying ugly jewelry from a shopping network.
- I don’t get the Dewars commercial with that bitchy model and her fake-ass Scottish accent. I watched it four times and still cannot figure out what the hell she says at the end. “Go back to sleep so I can get started”? “Go back to sleep, I just farted”? “Go back to sleep, I’m a tart”??? Doesn’t matter. None of that shit is gonna make me want to drink it.
- I alternately love and hate the fall season. Respite from the heat, but I’m forced to fight allergies all day long. I’ve sneezed for at least seven hours straight and I haven’t had any sleep. Makes me a bit “touchy” so forgive me if I bitch a bit too much.
- Until I emerge out from under this allergy BULLSHIT, this may be as good as it gets. I apologize ahead of time.
Seems almost surreal doesn’t it, when you discover that the new cellphone you have has all of the bells and whistles….that you can talk to it and it will talk back with helpful suggestions….that you can schedule your time with it, and text anyone in the world, and you can play Angry Birds on it …and the ONE THING YOU CAN’T DO is use it as a phone.
I’m using it as a coaster right now.
Men do suck. Met a guy the other day. Told me straight out he was single with no kids. So why do I get an email from his WIFE telling me to please stop texting him? I mean, WTF? Either be married or single. You can’t be both. I digress.
I’ve been sick for the past three days which means I can’t sleep. My nose clogs up and I start to choke on my own mucus. Very sexy, yes? It’s not the same as your allergies, but we can understand each other’s ballparks. This not sleeping shit and getting up for work at 4 am thing is just not working out. At least now I have a valid reason for being a bitch to the people I work with. They haven’t noticed a change in my behavior which is sad but a little funny.
We totally need to meet for drinks. Come to San Diego. Texas is way to hot and Texasy. Here it’s way more San Diegoy. You’ll like it. Plus we can drink by the ocean and watch the dolphins. Tell your mom that my mom thinks I’m crazy and say the Fuck word too much, too. They can talk about us while we drink and swear. LOL
Next time I’m in Cali, I’ll look you up, hon. And Texas isn’t too Texasy if you are hanging around the right people
I’ve sneezed 12 times in the past hour. I’d say we are both extremely sexy!
I think your phone may be defective… My husband & I both got the 5 the first week they were out & neither of us has a problem hearing anyone else (or being heard). Our maps also work just fine. (Who are all the people that they don’t work for?)
I had a .Motorola Razor years ago with similar issue & was told (after it was out of warranty) that it was defective.
You may want to take some Melatonin before bedtime to help stay asleep. I take as many as 3 (3 mg – max 10 mg) to make sure I will fall & stay asleep.
Good luck with your allergies… I have no solution for that one, except drugs!
Again, I am going with the Fizzy Gin Drinks but thank you. And yes, I believe that it is defective. I may have time this weekend to bitch at some Apple employees until they give me a new one.
That Dewars chick is Claire Forlani (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001231/bio) not that it matters, but I’m a FOUNT of useless information. Partuclarly when it comes to Scottish actors (Dougray Scott, to whom she’s married).
I have no idea what the fuck she says at the end of that commercial, though.
Damn, I thought I recognized her! Thanks hon
“If it ain’t Scottish, it’s CRAP!”