Damn if I didn’t forget my notebook last night. I’m quite certain we said and did some funny shit. I’ll try to remember…
- Me and Bunny singing Lesley Gore in the middle of a crowded patio while the non-BF looks on in horror
- Pork Belly Pops (don’t ask, but they were good)
- The non-BF: Why are you dressed like that? Me: These are the only shorts that still fit me. Now stop bogarting that cheese!
- “She just came in and twatwashed the place.”
- Me: I should make a non-girlfriend line of nail polishes. With names like “Slut-Puppy” and “Hooker Toes.” Bunny: I’d totally buy a nail polish called “Hooker Toes”. The non-BF: How about “Camel Toe”?
- The non-BF thought I made up a word. Therapeutical. Nope, it exists. They all laughed when I said my Fizzy Gin Drink was “therapeutical.”
- Me, to the girl sitting next to me with the lit cigarette: I’m sorry, is my smoke bothering you?
- “Do calories count when you’re drunk? Because if they don’t, I’d be a size zero.”
- “That guy? Over there? Really needs to give his outfit back to the 80s. They’re missing it.”